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| Not a Collected Item in my Home |
What can be said about a person based upon the items that they collect? Do these items define the individual? Perhaps they speak to a window frame within their life. Perhaps these items speak less to the reality of an individual and more to aspirations.
I am a lazy writer. At some point in my childhood, I was referred to by family as "a writer." There were major periods when I was a writer who wrote. I wrote for relaxation. I wrote for escape. I wrote to create a path. I wrote to share stories. However, I found that financial rewards were much more accessible for deeds other than writing. So, my writing outlets became marginalized friends where we needed to schedule some time -- always in the future.
As much as I respect the art and discipline of writing, I am not the best reader. Sure, I earned an English undergraduate degree. I read classics from the British and American literary canons. Well, perhaps there is so much that I sort of read or remembered the author. Maybe it was the pressure to keep up the literate guise that I began collecting in the hopes of "becoming."
In a way, I see a connected link to the mentality of hoarders. They see a bond to an object. It connects them to a moment or individual in the past. Perhaps the thing is an association to an idealized future, if only they could -- whatever that thing is.
What does this mean? I have the good fortune to have a one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. The unit is not spacious; it's cozy. I have had to learn the art of discarding. The easiest things to part with are items that wander in your life as freely as wind-blown plastic grocery bag. The newspaper, a magazine, junk mail. Then there are the items with some utility, but solve no problem. My sweetheart and I have had many showdowns related to his desire to keep delivery containers when we order food. Small apartments have limited storage options -- my line in the sand is clear.
Separation from objects that have more intimate connections with us becomes a bit more difficult. While I find myself discarding clothes and shoes two or three times a year, it is a task that has only come with practice and a resolute deliberateness. I thank that cable show, "What Not to Wear" with Stacy and Clinton for enabling me to release items. For the most part, I have lived within these items that I now seek to purge from my life. I have used these items to define myself. Others have framed a sense of understanding of who I am based upon these objects. However, they are merely fabric crafted in shapes that have allowed my passage.
It is worth noting that the Stacy and Clinton's rules are ones that I have not embraced in full. I recall hearing a "rule" where an item should be purged if not worn in two years. Bollocks!!! Special occasion items are not worn frequently. Some items are just too nice to "dump." I have a niece, friends and family that might appreciate my sartorial choices. Since I rarely buy trendy looks, I tend to have long runs.
Where does that leave my thoughts on books? I have bookcases that shelve a portion of my personal library. Within the last year, I've started to assess how I can part with books. In addition to housing books, my sweetie and I have a few tchotchkes, CDs and DVDs filling the shelves. If neither of us was here and were being assessed by our collection, perhaps the following notes might be made:
- Non-fiction, mostly
- Historical Biographies
- Cultural Studies
- African American History - 19th and 20th Century
- Business Management
- Art of Writing
- Motivational
- Memoir
- Sci-Fi/Fantasy
- Cookbooks
- Fiction, Authentic Lives of POC/Women Defying Stereotypes or Class Structures
- Coffeetable Books, Culture
This collection of objects have inspired me. In some cases, these works were absorbed and appreciated. In many others, they have merely been possessed with good intentions. The spine alone is a reminder that this thought and opportunity is still one that I want in my universe.
In my mid-twenties, I planned on returning to grad school to obtain a PhD and become a filmmaker like Ken Burns. I would make PBS documentaries like he had that present stories Americans needed to see. I wanted to focus on stories of lost American history where the divides in race and culture came together and were quickly ignored. I found that interesting. I was particularly interested in stories of Native Americans and African Americans. I hunted down a series of books on Black Indians by William Loren Katz. I eventually went berserk when I discovered Martha Hodes' collection Sex Love Race. My mini-cultural studies library was and is pretty impressive. The rub: I never got the PhD. I did not need a PhD to develop the stories that had built this library, but there is a little guilt. The documentaries could have been made. They were sidelined.
Martha Hodes has a new work that I recently saw at the book store. It is on the mourning after the death of Lincoln. Sounds fascinating. More than likely, this collector will add that very enticing story to my own laboratory of aspiration and inclination. My hope is that it enables
an idealized future.
